been awhile

dear blogger,
been awhile....guess i havent had a lot to say. been busy and broke! looking forward to a vacation..going to nags head with the outlaws, and my ex for a week. ought to be interesting to say the least! megan will be going home with him for another week after, so i think i may be looking forward to that week even more.....to be alone....sounds like heaven! not that i dont enjoy my children's company...i love it, but i havent been alone for a week in a while, and even though i have to work, it will be blissfull....
still trying to lose weight, neverending battle..must try someday to figure out what exactly is at the root of my subconscious desire to be unattractive!..........now there is room for some therapy!
why is it that men can gain and lose weight so easily and it is hell for a woman? and i for one like a little meat on my man's bones....
why is it that an extra 10-15lbs canmake such a difference in ones outlook towards life?....this extra 15 keeps me inside....i feel gross, and dont even want to socialize with friends. but once off, i will be out on the town and a social butterfly....i pity the unfortunate person that comes along and reads my blog, i feel they will think i am a depressed person....not the case at all folks!...actually i am very happy with my life and have been very blessed....this blog helps me to vent any frustrations i may have, and for some reason that is the only time i feel the need to write anything.....

best years of my life

was thinking about my old schoolmates, and thinking how we think the world revolves around the 4 years in highschool, or maybe even the college years...then time goes by and it is hard to remember last names of the most important people in your life....my freshman year at college was a ball, and i cant say i have kept in touch with anyone...so if there are members of tau sigma alfa out there...(this i dont believe is a real soroity....just stood for third (floor) south androscoggin hall) get in touch....

tgif

well it is friday...yipee...i think i will meet the Captian tonight and get wild.(captian morgan that is) been a very long week, and megan is going off with her friends, so glad she is becoming more independent. it really has to suck for her to be so young and trapped in her wheelchair. i get down sometimes when i think about how I lost MY independence when she had her wreck...but, that is just plain wrong, she is my child forever, and i am Mom first, and i am not the one who is the victim....but sometimes i do think i am being punished through her. not a pity party....just a place to put thoughts not spoken down, and release....

thought for the day

when do you know that you are a grown up? i dont feel like one. i see wrinkles and gray hair but that just means i am aging. i used to think you were a grown up when you had kids, but i stumbled through that not feeling like i was in charge. thankfully i managed to get them all raised and into college with minimum trauma, but a whole lot of drama. started to think i was ready to start on my life as an adult ....boy was i wrong